Special measures available for victims are the same. Support services are similar as are the approaches by police. Rape crisis were and I would still recommend them as being the most proficient to preparing you for court. My only recommendation at this point is there needs to be more work with doctors surgeries of survivors so that support is cohesive and remains person centred.

Going to court and giving evidence I thought I would feel some sense of relief or feel some ‘weight’ lifted from my shoulders. That didn’t come. I hadn’t prepared for the length of time a jury could take so once the verdict was in I thought that would be the moment I would feel that weight loss, again, this didn’t happen. I then had to wait for sentencing – something I hadn’t prepared for either – these moments in time seemed to prolong any sense of relief I was hoping for. Once the perpetrator was sentenced on two counts – 1x against me, the other another victim – I thought concurrent and consecutive meant the sentence length was doubled and the perpetrator had a just sentence. Alas, that was not the case.

2011 the rape conviction rate in the South West of England rose from 4% to 6%. A great result for the constabulary made little to no difference to my life. After serving 3yrs the perpetrator took voluntary deportation and was sent home to Portugal.

Purely by chance and a all to Witness Care in 2016 to enquire after the perpetrator’s whereabouts was I informed he was no longer in the country.

Aftercare court services are equally as important for survivors to understand the sentencing processes, victim impact statements need care ànd techniques to write.

As a survivor you are never prepared that at every stage you will relive your trauma over and over again. As a survivor, the physical trauma eases with time, the internal emotional, psychological trauma consumes you. You hope that today will be that day that you will have a breakthrough day when you will feel a new sense of self or you will feel healed. Therapy, understanding, loving self heals. Some make this journey earlier than others, healing is an individual journey, there is no blanket healing time. Remembering that trauma has triggers so learning about what triggers your trauma will help you with coping strategies and management.

I would be less likely to go through the system again due to the length of time building a case can take, due to reliving the trauma but mainly because of the lack of conviction rates. The system needs to address the barriers to convicting rapists. Just because reporting rates maybe low doesn’t mean rape isn’t happening. More needs to be done via legislation, policy and procedures surrounding rape convictions.

More work around ‘healthy’ relationships needs to be done from infants to university because a healthy relationship at the age of 5 is different to that experience of a 10yrs old.

Body image and learning to love self, self-esteem, personal development from the earliest of ages will enable each and everyone of us to be able to develop self awareness and hopefully be more forthcoming when things aren’t ok, to question what is healthy, to keep asking questions, checking in with others.